I would like to thank the millions of women who fought for equal rights, equal pay. I would like to thank you for bringing attention to issues of domestic abuse, sexual harassment and women’s health. Don’t get me wrong, working is not a bad thing, I love my job, but all these movements took more women out of the home and away from their children. And today it’s almost frowned upon to want to be a stay at home mom or not put forth 1000% (yes I meant the extra 0) effort at work and then again at home.
Yet society is suffering. Kids are neglected and given less attention. Sitting them in front of the TV while Mom scrapes together enough energy to pop in a cardboard pizza and maybe throw in a load of laundry is just easier. They are entertained, they aren’t hitting each other, and they stay in one place.
What we are missing is family time. We need parents, mom or dad, to stay at home to cook a meal, clean the house, shuttle kids, and not be overwhelmed with it because they also put in 40+ hours at a job. We need the time to be able to connect with each other as spouses and as parents. We deserve the time to relax and enjoy each other as a family. We need to quit being exhausted.
Adding a third child last spring, kid going to kindergarten this fall, and an art class to my teaching duties has added extra excitement to my life. It wasn’t until the other night that I realized how much is giving because of this. My kindergarteners give every day. I have amazing, truly amazing teachers who help take over when I’m gone to art, but I can tell the kids identify with me as their teacher. I can also tell that I'm not as connected with my kindergarteners as I want to be. This bothers me because kindergarten is the first formal year of school and they need stability.
My kids at home are suffering too. I really don’t get any school work done at home anymore, but I’m not present when I’m home. My mind is always on the next step or trying to figure out what I missed.
The other night I had an epiphany as I watched Miri let go of the side of the tub and stand on her own for about 10 seconds before she dropped down on her bum. She was so excited and her face lit up. I realized something needs to go. Something needs to change. I needed to share in Miri's excitement more. I had always promised not to put work in front of my family and I was doing that. I decided to give up a meeting I was supposed to attend. It was a very hard decision because I don’t back out of things, but it had to happen. Now I feel wonderful about this decision. It was the right one for my kids and me.
To all you Wonder Women out there, I challenge you to do two things: 1) get rid of some responsibility in your life and then fill that time with your family. 2) spend some me time, whether it’s 5 minutes every day or 20 on the weekend. I suck at the me time too, but I’m working on it. We deserve this.
