The "Cost" of Raising a Child

My sister and I discuss our kids all the time.  Mainly we discuss the hilarities and milestones, but we also discuss the difficulties and challenges we face as mommies.  On a recent run, my sister mentioned how often she’ll hear someone talk about the cost of having a kid.  I’ve heard people say that before too, but I agree with Martha, I didn't really think about the cost of my kids, I just always knew it came as part of the package.  As Martha said we pay for the life we want to live.  Kids are just a part of the cost of living the life we want to live. 

Our conversation got me thinking about the actual “cost” of kids.

Sure there is the monetary cost of raising kids (which is what most people are talking about) but I never really worried about dollaring it out.  Sure it’s nice not having to purchase diapers for Miri now that she’s potty trained, but there are dental and doctor bills, new shoes they’ll outgrow in a week, school supplies, etc.  Spending money is just part of raising kids.  I believe, and I think others will agree, I will PAY for good day care, good food, and other necessities for my kids.  I want them to be well taken care of.

Money aside there are other “costs” to raising kids.  Loss of sleep, lack of alone time, baring stretch marks and a mommy tummy, listening to 2 year tantrums, washing endless loads of laundry and dishes, eating interrupted meals because of meat cutting, food cooling or needing more drink, worrying about things you never thought possible to worry about, lack of freedom to just go somewhere, listening to never-ending stories and songs when all you really desire is a moment of silence…the list can go on and on. 

Each of us mommies has a list.  Many items on that list are shared and some are unique to our own set of circumstances.  We all signed up for this, okay maybe not (there are surprises you know!).  However, once you become a mom there is an unexplainable bond with your child that never ends.  That bond is another “cost” of having a child. 

While there are “costs” to having children, I don’t mind them, and (here’s the kicker) I really don’t see them as “costs” but rather blessings.  Sure I have those days where I am definitely not paid enough to listen to my children fight or clean up puke, but I have been blessed with three happy, healthy children.  My kiddos bring me more joy than the extra mile I could’ve ran or the clothes I could have bought with money saved from not having to buy diapers. 

They are a source of wonder and entertainment.  I love watching my kids have new experiences and make discoveries.  Their stories and ways of thinking make me laugh.  And when I look into their big blue eyes they remind me of their daddy and make me wonder what they will do with their lives.  Watching them grow up is like being a part of the best movie or book ever.  I really could not ask for more. 

All these things, they aren’t costs, all these things are blessings.  Blessing that are just a part of living the life I want to live. 

My little blessing makers

Happy Mother's Day Mom!

This Mother’s Day I want to give a shout out to my own Madre.  She’s put up with me my entire life, although there are days I’m not sure why.  And then she gave me a brother and two sisters to corrupt…I mean play with.  What was she thinking??

Mom taught me to be myself.  She always let me be involved in things I wanted to be involved with and let me find my way. Mom guided me but never forced me in a direction.  She says she always knew I would become a teacher, but when I headed to college for graphic design she didn’t say a thing.  She let me go down the art major path.  She knew it was a path I needed to take, that I needed to find my own way.  And the art path was the best thing for me.  It made me a well-rounded elementary teacher. 

Mom taught me how to be confidence and have self-worth.  She taught me to hold my head high and stand up for what I believe in.  I watched her struggle with CCD classes, parents of students, and the crazy things her children have done to her, but she’s always stayed in and fought. 

Mom taught me that beauty is on the inside of a person and not on the outside.  Now I personally believe my mom is a beautiful woman, but she’s not a super model.  :)  When her hair started turning gray, and she gained a few wrinkles, she didn’t grab the hair color or freak out, she embraced the change in her life and the “wise” look age gives you.  Not only does she sport the wise looking gray hairs, but she is wise.  Mom has never forgotten anything she’s ever heard, read, seen, experienced.  You can look into her eyes and know that she’s just waiting to share some tidbit with you. 

Her wiseness has kept me grounded.  My mom is a great sounding board.  She gives her words of wisdom and leaves me feeling like I have some guidance and thinking to do.   Mom doesn’t remember “the good old days” she remembers things for what they were.  She didn’t glorify being married, child birth, learning to breast feed, or raising children.  She remembers the good and the bad and doesn’t sugar coat the bad.  I learned from her that sometimes mommyhood just stinks and “this too shall pass”!  And she’s thanking God he gave me kids just like me! 

She’s always been MOM first and my friend second, and she wasn’t my friend until I was old enough to need a mom friend.  But she still is my MOM.  She will tell me like it is when she doesn’t agree or thinks I’ve made a poor choice.  And countless times she’s brought me down to Earth. 

Mom taught me how to cook and bake.  Growing up we spent a lot of time in the kitchen together.  She let me make a mess in the flour from the moment I could sit on the counter and help.  Some of my favorite memories were made in the kitchen making little loaves of over kneaded raisin bread. 

My mom taught me to be silly.  From character voices to silly songs, Mom kept intrigued and our imaginations reeling.  She also taught us how to document those imaginations using proper grammar and spelling.  (Once and English teacher, always an English teacher) 

Mom taught me about the important things in life.  I tease her about unwaxed floors and stacks of papers, but my house is messier.  She showed me that a spotless house is not as important as spending time with your family.  It’s because of her that I don’t freak out when the floor under the table doesn’t get swept or the laundry sits in the basket or on the couch for over a week. 

Speaking of important things, the most important thing my Mom (along with Dad) taught me was about faith and having God in my life.  I’ve been grounded in my faith from day one (and by day one I mean conception).  My parents brought me up in the church.  They gave me the tools to explore my faith and helped me make it my own. 

Thank you Mommy for being Dan, Martha, Meg, and my mom!  Thank you for teaching me how to be a good mom!  Thank you for being you and thank God for making you my mommy!  Love you! 

Thank God for Puke

My washer and dryer hate me right now.  They have been on the go almost constantly since Wednesday, the day my daycare provider discovered the lice.  Right now my husband is horrified that I’m sharing this with all of you, but frankly it’s a part of life.  Not that it’s a rite of passage, but it’s like ringworm, it makes you feel all gross and stuff but there is not much you can do to stop from getting it.  All I want to do is CLEAN, disinfect, and boil myself in a large vat, but amazingly enough they don’t recommend this treatment (the boiling in a vat that is, cleaning yes, one must clean). 

After the plague of lice (the battle is still on, however the good guys are winning) came the flood of puke.  Two kids, two beds, three or four times being jerked awake in the middle of the night to comfort and clean up.  The washer and dryer continue to run…..but that’s not the point.

I’m feeling exhausted, crabby, and on the verge of a pity party (which by the way never helps, surprising I know) when all of a sudden, “Thank you God for puke,” comes out of my mouth.  Often I’m sarcastic, but this time I wasn’t.  See at that moment God struck me down with some sense and reality.  We have lice and pukers, but we will clean up, heal up, pick nits and in no time this will all just be a story.  My kids are going through normal childhood illnesses, and it’s yucky and frustrating at times, but “This too shall pass,” to quote my mom.

A little boy named Jack came to mind while I uttered my odd prayer to God.  He’s a distant cousin of my husband and the same age as our boy.  And he has pediatric brain cancer.  He’s had brain surgery and chemo and gone through so much more than a 7 year old should.  And he’s been battling this for over a year.   

Jack has amazing parents and family and support system miles deep and wide, but he still faces a major hurdle in his life and uncertainty.  His parents have to watch him get poked with needles and trust doctors to take care of him in surgery.

And it all comes back into perspective: Thank you God that it’s only puke.  Thank you for giving me healthy kids and please bless all those kids like Jack and their families who have so much more to worry about than lice and puking. 

If you want to read more about Jack’s treatment and condition check out his Caring Bridge site at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jackhoffman  Their faith and optimism are truly amazing.       

Freezer Meals

I’ve been asked about freezer meals.  I LOVE them!!  In fact my sisters and I swear by them.  The idea, make the mess once and eat for as long as possible.  This is tons more fun when I make the mess with my sisters but can be accomplished on my own.

 

Freezer meals happen in a few ways.

1. If I’m making something like lasagna, I make two instead of one.  You can cook twice the meat and twice the noodles at the same time and make 1 mess.  Prepare both.  Cook one and wrap the other up for the freezer.  This works well with any meal.

2. Freeze the leftovers.  For example the other day I made a ton of BBQ meatballs (YUM!).  We ate them for two meals over the course of a couple of days.  I can eat leftovers forever, but my hubby is done with them after the second go-round.  So I froze the rest. 

3. Pick a day and spend it making a bunch of things and messing up your entire kitchen (treat yourself to a meal out that night).  Here’s what my sisters and I have frozen:

·        Meatballs: with or without sauce.  Plain ones we freeze on a cookie sheet so they don’t stick together and then put in ziplock bags

·        Meatloaf: mix it up, don’t bake, wrap up and freeze

·        Casseroles: works well with just about any casserole.  Most of the time we don’t bake first, just freeze

·        Chicken enchiladas: pick your favorite one, put it together and freeze

·        Taco casserole: instead of having to put together tacos some night, just layer the tortillas, meat, cheese, everything you like minus the lettuce.  Freeze and serve with lettuce when you bake it

·        Lasagna: baked or not

·        Banana bread or muffins or any other breakfast breads or muffins

·        Soups: any soup I would think would work.  I usually do soups like I mentioned in number 2.  I make a ton of soup when I make it and freeze left overs. 

·        Cupcakes (instead of cake): make them, bake them, freeze them.  Then you have them when you want a treat, need treats for your kids’ school events etc.  It also helps with portion control since you take out what you need when you need them. Frost after defrosting.  Frosting doesn’t freeze amazingly well.

·        Homemade cookies: Mix up, scoop out and place on cookie sheet, DON’T bake, freeze.  Store in ziplock bag in freezer.  Helpful in all the same ways as cupcakes.

4. Prep ahead:

·        Brown up 5 or 6 pounds of hamburger and then freeze in pound or 2 pound packages.  This saves TONS of time, and a dirty frying pan, on week nights when you forget to take something out ahead of time. 

·        Cut up veggies for a pot roast (by the way I also LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my crockpot) and freeze those ahead.  Things like potatoes may discolor some, but I don’t care, and they don’t last months in the freezer, but it still saves me time in a few weeks and that’s all that matters.

 

 

 

Not Super Mom...Just Surviving Like the Rest of You Moms!

I feel I need to clarify; I am NOT Wonder Woman or Super Mom.  I am a good mom (thanks to the help of my fabulous hubby and a TON of wonderful people in my life), but I don’t have the super powers my blog from Saturday may imply.  J  And every other one of you Moms out there are AMAZING!

 I’ve been asked about my abilities to get things done and yet play with my kids.  Well it’s no secret, for every one thing I accomplish in a day/week there are about 50 more that I don’t get accomplished.  And I don’t stress about it! For example my Christmas tree is still up and may be up through Easter at this rate. And cleaning bathrooms, really cleaning, or scrubbing floors only happens once every 2 weeks or so if we’re lucky.

 I con my kids into helping me with chores.  We play “See Who Can Put Away Their Clothes the Fastest” and “Who’s Floor is the Cleanest” (I always loose that one!).  Right now they see it as a huge game, but when they get older they will recent me for using them as child labor!  (Please remember I speak sarcasm.) 

Another secret (it’s not really a secret): sometimes I just drop everything despite the sky high pile of dishes in my sink and just play.  We head downstairs and play Wii or Legos or cook in the kitchen.  Other times we load on the sunscreen (summer) or stuff ourselves into winter gear and head outside.  When I don’t see my mess, I play better with the kids.  So I get away from the mess and just play.  I’ll never get this time when my kids are little back, so a messy house or dirty floors isn’t going to stop me from playing with my kiddos.   

 Along with all listed above routine is key in my life.  I work best when I get up at 6:05AM and proceed through the day with a relative sense of routine.  Not that I’m OCD, but a schedule is helpful not only for me but for the family to function.  There is also something to be said for getting your outfit out the night before and getting your kids to put their book bags and things in the same place all the time.  When we’re a well-oiled machine we save valuable time and use it to do FUN things together.

Mom Olympics

I didn't workout today, which is a bit unusual given that the weekends are easier to fit in a workout than weekdays. Instead I put all that training, sweat, and iron pumping to good use and participated in the Mommy Olympics.

The Mommy Olympics are something every mommy participates in on a daily/weekly/monthly/yearly basis, yet I don't think we take enough time to pat ourselves on the back.  So tonight I'm giving myself medals to show the achievement and dedication to being a mom.

Morning I got the bronze medal for breakfast  making.  Made apple-crasin oatmeal for Miri and me, but let Troy make himself and the other kids eggs and sausage.  I didn't feel like eggs and sausage, and grease and a  mess.  But I get a gold medal for cleaning up after them!

I got a gold medal in the cleaning bathrooms department.  All three are clean, including floors and emptying waste baskets.  I did not however clean the mudroom toilet.  One needs a hazmat suit for that and mine just happens to be at the cleaners. Darn the luck!

I got a gold medal from my sister Martha for being the best big sister.  She has several freezer meals in my freezer that will be delivered very soon.  I also stashed a couple meals for my house, which brings me up to a silver medal in freezer meals.  I have no where near the number of freezer meals stashed as the beginning of 1st semester, but there are some!

Next I received a silver in laundry washing.  Most of it is complete, but there is at least one load for tomorrow (sorry Grandma Koenig, I know tomorrow is Sunday...).  I finished dead last in the folding category.  All the clean clothes are piled in baskets and on the couch.  But they are clean, so they are wearable!

In the move the double bed box spring upstairs by yourself I placed gold once again.  That weight lifting is paying off! Troy and I teamed up and placed gold in the move the mattress upstairs.  Didn't attempt that one on my own! The ultimate goal here is for mom and dad to get some sleep. We'll see if Miri bunking in with big sister Mazee does the trick.  Sleep medals to be awarded at a later date.

I got a silver in the clean kitchen group.  Most of my freezer meal mess is cleaned up, but the pot from supper are still in the sink.  They will wait for me.  They always do.

In the play a Wii game with Mazee section I received a silver.  Dancing was great, but I could've done more to make it epic.

I received a silver in patience, which is amazing considering most days I don't make stand.

Bronze is the color for grocery shopping.  I  got it accomplished, but with no coupons to save with, and only took two of the three kids.  there are automatic deductions when one doesn't take all the kids.  Plus no  coupons is a point deduction.  I'm lucky to have gotten the bronze!

You other mommies out there, there are plenty of gold medals.  Award yourself a few too.