The shoe is on the other foot

For five years now I have been greeting parents at my kindergarten door and assuring them their kids are going to have a great year in kindergarten.  I tell them about what we are going to do and that school is a wonderful thing.  Parents leave slowly, some a little teary eyed.  And I think to myself, "I'm glad they love their children, but this is school.  It's part of growing up.  Their kids are going to do well."
Monday night I tuck Deegan into bed at 8:30, a full hour and a half earlier than his summer routine (luckly we have been practicing for a few weeks now).  He says, "Mommy my heart hurts."  "Why's that?" I ask.  He says, "Because I'm going to miss you and Daddy tomorrow."  My heart melts at that point.  "Deegan, you're going to get playing with your friends and you're not even going to miss us."    Deegen smiles and snuggles down to sleep. 

Tuesday morning we're up at the crack of dawn.  Deegan's always been an early riser, but 6:30 is pushing it to be awake and moving!  He's dressed, eats breakfast and we head down the lane.  You can tell this is exciting for the whole family because Mazee's up and dressed so she can walk down with us. 

We're walking sluggishly down the lane.  While we're waiting Deegan says to me again, "Mommy I'm ready to go, but my heart still hurts a little."  "Mine does too Deegan, but it's good to miss people.  It means you love them." I said. 

The bus pulls up, Deegan jumps on and waves like crazy through the window.  He's fine.  He's excited.  I knew he'd be.  Me, I'm not a blubbery mess or anything, but my heart hurts.  How did my little guy get to be so big??  I'm excited for him too.  I'm also excited that I'm not his teacher.  I think he'll be great for his teacher, but I don't think his mom as his teacher would be a good thing. 

It's a new feeling.  One, now that my child is big enough to start school and here starts the super busy part of my life.  Two, now I have to completely trust others to watch and guide my child.  I take comfort in knowing that teachers are good people and that I have heard many good things about the teachers at his school. 

I guess nothing can prepare you for letting your first born go to kindergarten, even if you've been to kindergarten yourself and teach kindergarten.